because i am just a rebound love

it's been a month and 5 days since we said goodbyes.. it's been a month and 5 days of grieving .. and it's been a month and 5 days of wanting you back! i know you wont ever read this ( but am hoping you will) but i just wanted to tell you that am so thinking of you today.. yes, you-- isn't it funny that you have moved on so easily and i am left shuttered in here because am just a REBOUND love--yet you managed to let me feel that i was your one and only and the only princess on your castle.

i love you and i love you so much! and i want to shout it out loud that i love you still and i want you still.. i still want your sadistic actions, your being bossy, your being tight and your being jealous.. i still want it when we fight at phone almost every night and will end up singing that song of ours.. i still want it when you share your intelligence to my lacking wisdom even though i always end up being corrected by you. i still want it when you want me to change the way i laugh 'coz you said my laughter's are quite annoying. i still want it when you are insisting that my being oozy is irritating and you want me to eat roasted chicken and those street food you want. i still want it when you get jealous with my books and i envy with your PSP. i want it still when you want to see me wear nothing but your t-shirt on and i still want that kiss-- that feeling that we own each other and that you are mine and i am yours..

but because i was just a REBOUND love it was easy for you to give me up-- because you were distracted about the fact that the one i replaced( or did i?) showed up crying and hurting because of what we have become. she was never yours and you were never hers-- and at that moment i really wanted to let you know that "hey beb, you are mine".. we had our forever, weren't we?? but you felt cold..uttered no word..and i was left untold!

so foolishly i cried and prayed to die because when you came you revived this boring soul of mine and when you left, you took everything with you and left my soul wounded and since i don't want my soul to be with me without you anymore..you 'caused me so much pain and literally crashed and torn my life upside down . you broke every pieces of me but still i cried in silence in the corner of the world, quiet, because i love you and because i was just rebound love.

now am living life without having reason why, wandering around hoping i can at least forget you and banish you in my head---- why did i ever get to meet you when all i received was nothing but pain.. why didn't you try to defend me even if as your former little friend-- because it was too difficult to defend you while defending my self at the same time.

so it's been a month and 5 days to be exact.. you are okay now while am still having trouble sleeping.. a month and 5 days of an agonizing silence from both of us still i love you more than a month and 5 days because yes--- i am a rebound love!!!

February 16, 2010 - Tuesday

10:06 PM